My cold coke and a brief moment of introspection.
I find myself a quiet corner in a restaurant and position myself where I can see all of it’s corners. It’s hot outside and I surely need a cold beverage to cool myself. The lighting makes the restaurant so calm and heavenly. The screens are tuned to supersport channel and I am tempted to move closer. The music playing on the background soothes and leads one into a world of introspection, I am not sure about the musician, the music belong to early 90s and certainly it’s good music, you know it when your soul and spirit are in agreement and make the inner parts inside of your body move in well synced rhythm, agreeing to the atmosphere the music builds up.
I order for a cold coke, I learn it is actually not cold despite the waiter confirming it is actually cold. I am not sure If she understand my definition of cold, it’s already open so I’ll just enjoy it anyway. I want to savor every moment here; with this so called cold coke and make my mind shut the outside away. The outside with all it’s noise, it’s dust, it’s heat, it’s ugly words, and all of it’s commotion. I want peace within me, peace in every fibre of my tissue and existence.
I convince my mind to lock away all the worries and anxieties. I want to shut all the voices that have kept whispering in my ear how it’s tough to make it in your goals in this century, that It’ll take longer than I hoped, that I should chill and no need to try harder, telling me just relax and let things be! That time will heal and will make answers to be revealed. That I should bow to pressure and surrender all of my efforts.
I want to silence all those demons that hover around my head. Demons that scare you, that stops you from dreaming again, demons that build up fear and encourage complacency, demons that gets comfortable with how things are. Demons that just want to sleep and not wake up from slumberland. They’re everywhere, there are some people who quickly recognize them and silence them immediately, I’m getting there too.
I want to shut and silence them completely and step on them. They’re many, possibly if I step on them I’ll have a clear view of the potential surrounding me as well have a visibility of a brighter future. I want to jump on top of them and shout, Yeeeaah, see how bright it is over there!
The coke makes my glands on the tongue and mouth stand still. Evening star, not sure again about the musician and the song title, but it’s a country song, starts to play on the background and the beats accompany the coke down the throat, I hope the beats manage to jump into the heart and find a home there, I hope they’ll find warmth there to just keep reminding me of an evening star that shines so brightly that you can’t ignore it. I am sure you know the demons would want to blur such a star, would love to have that star never to shine forever and have it buried in the cemetery, maybe the demons would allow it to shine inside the grave; but what for? Why shine where there is no life, whom will it light paths for, who will admire it, whom will it intrigue in its awesomeness? Total waste!!
I remember a Psalm whose writer is in awe as he writes, when I look up to heavens, which Your fingers made, and see the moon and the stars which You set in place… he is bewildered even more, he asks, of what importance is mankind, that You should pay attention to them?
I think these are the same questions all these haunting demons don’t understand and have never found answers to. They do not understand why we’re so important and why we should continue being important and conquerors. No wonder they keep whispering all those self defeating rhetorics close to our ears, making logic so paramount that we can’t believe in our core uniqueness and strengths. They make us settle for less and keep us competing with our colleagues when we should be developing standards.
The bottle is empty, the coke after taste is fresh in my mouth. I gulp the gas from the coke. It make me feel unease, it’s embarrassing, it’s like belching. But maybe what I have gulped are limiting beliefs inside of me, I just hope so and all negativity, and strife and pride and inactivity, all that was residing in my belly.
Since my ‘cold’ coke is over, I don’t have more business wasting away my time here. This place is jammed and maybe I’m keeping a customer away, I’ll just have to leave single heartedly, the music is heavenly. But I will grab a grass of cold water to ensure my awakening finds its way and rest safely on my belly.
With all this, my wish for you is that you keep trying, don’t stop, don’t listen to the naysayers, to the logics and to the limiting voices in your ears. Develop a razor Sharp focus and keep believing!
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